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Kylo Ren
Darth Kylo is a villain from the Star Wars franchise. A self-proclaimed hipster, Darth Kylo is known for his hatred of rules, machines, and old people. Biography Rebel with a Cause Kylo Skywalker was a jedi under the teachings of his uncle, Luke Skywalker. However, as he grew older, he became influenced by hipster-like tendencies such as wishing to rebel against the status quo. Hoping to shake things up, Kylo created a lightsaber that utilized a different design, so he could say he was using it before it was cool. But when his other students laughed at his hipster-like douchebaggery, Kylo discovered he's really good at killing things when he's angry, so he killed all the students in the rain in hopes to be considered edgy and then joined a cult. Undercover Boss To be added Drunk on Power After becoming the commander of the cult, Kylo was tasked by Snow to kill his uncle, Luke, which Kylo is happy to do, since at this point, Luke has become an old man. Kylo looks for a map that is being held in the desert. He commands an army of Stormtroopers to find it, only to see that it belonged to an old man and Kylo doesn't like old men, so he kills him. Then, realizing that the villagers of the village he attacked were all just old people, he orders they all be shot and killed. He manages to capture a pilot named Po, after somehow freezing light in the air, and takes him to his ship, the Star Killer. He tells Po to talk to the hand and Po does, revealing that an 8-ball droid has the map to Luke. So Angry Kylo sends troops to retrieve the droid. Moments later he is told that his troops failed. Knowing that his computer system had been spying on him and had alerted the droid, Kylo pulls out his lightsaber and mercilessly slaughters his computer. He then makes it to the Death Star Mk III, where he meets with his Master, Snow. Snow informs Kylo that his father has the droid they're looking for. Kylo tells his master that it means nothing to him, even though both of them know that Hans has become an old man and we all know how Kylo feels about old men. However, Kylo begins to feel some guilt towards slaughtering the computer, other old people, and wanting to stab his father in his old man chest the first chance he gets, and decides to have a therapy session with the charred remains of Darth Vader. However, determined to continue down his path of douchbaggery, he reminds himself of the power of the darkness by snorting his grandfather's ashes. Death to the Old People! The Space Hipsters finish the Death Star Mk III and uses it for the first time to blow up the prequel system AKA planets filled with people six movies old. Kylo stares straight into the bean fired and as a result, saw spots for hours. Kylo then learns that the droid they're looking for is in a bar run by a several thousand year old woman, so he rationally invades her tavern with a full scale army and blows the shit out of the bar. He is told that the droid went into the woods with a girl. Sensing the plot flowing through her, he follows her. He confronts Ray in the woods where she starts firing in the same spot, allowing him to easily deflect her blasts. He forces her to talk to the hand, which proves too much for her and she collapses. Kylo realizes Ray's seen the map to Skywalker and assumes she has a photographic memory and plans to extract the information from her later. Secret Identity Kylo interrogates Ray taking off his helmet in the process, revealing himself to be a nacho eating and sex loving normal looking person. As Kylo gives his helmet a refill of his grandfather's ashes, he gets closer to Ray, trying to make her talk to the hand while she attempts to resist the smell of his breath, finally calling him out on his compensation on the fact that he isn't the Whiney Little Prequel Bitch he was trying to be. Furious, he leaves the girl who just defied him alone with a single Stormtrooper. Kylo goes to Supreme Leader Snow to tell him how a girl kicked his ass. Snow tells Kylo to bring Ray to him. Kylo heads back to the cell to find Ray gone. Kylo then executes the restraints for failing to keep her locked up. Becoming a Space Hipster While searching for Ray, Kylo senses his father's presence on the planet and decides to search for him personally. Fortunately for him, his Father finds him and shouts his real name at him, taking away the little badassery Kylo had collected throughout the film. Personality Darth Kylo is the first of the space hipsters, meaning he tends to act like a douchebag a lot of the time. Like his grandfather, Darth Vader, Kylo likes to kill things when he's upset and choke people when they say stuff he doesn't like. His hipsterness is further displayed by his seemingly irrational hatred of old men, as he decided to kill two of them in one movie. Powers & Abilities Powers *'Force User' **'Telekenesis': Kylo is able to lift and move things with the power of the force. Kylo is able to use this ability to stop people dead in their tracks. This ability also allows him to ignore the laws of physics as he is able to stop light in mid-air with this ability. Equipment *'Hipster Blade': Kylo wields a blade that reflects the douchebaggery of his character. The Hipster Blade utilizes a retro style, unlike mainstream lightsabers used by most Sith and Jedi. The saber utilizes crossguards that are TOTALLY PRACTICAL and offer him a greater offensive advantage. Category:Villains Category:Star Wars Category:Space Hipsters